I have earned one more check on list 35.
I spent a good portion of my day in the beautiful green shoes. The goal was to wear them for a day, and I made it to about noon. I am counting this as a success however for the following reasons: #1 I wore them last night to a school function for a trial run, thus extending the hours the shoes where on. #2 my removal of the shoes was entirely motivated by the blisters forming on the balls of my feet, not emotional distress. #3 I was somewhat saddened to see them leave my feet.
Although most people find my preoccupation with trivial life improvements funny, I have to say that I get great insight from these little adventures. Today for example, I realized how much I enjoyed the small pleasure of wearing beautiful shoes. My daily attire consists more of flip flops and White t-shirts rather than colored tailored shirts and heels, so I was unable to slip through the day unnoticed. In fact, I might have drawn less attention to myself if I had shown up stark naked. Of course, I don't own a lot of clothing or accessories that can be described as chic. I feel pretty good if I am even in the running for fashionable. My basic requirement is often that it fit, followed closely by color (or lack thereof), and finally basic shape and color. This is a horrifying admission.
I felt good today, and many people suggested that I wear my beautiful shoes more often, and asked why I had never worn them before. My immediate answer to this was " I am just not the type of person who can get away with that kind of thing." But privately and now of course semi publicly, I have to reflect on that. Why don't I? What kind of person IS the kind of person who can get away with that type of thing? and really WHAT is that type of thing?
Do I somehow look down on women who prepare themselves for the day more mindful of fashion trends and artistic touches. No. easily I can say that I do not. In fact I often am envious of the well put together woman, the lady who has all her accessories in a row.
Perhaps I feel that feminine touches such as heels somehow make me look weak....Nope not that either. In fact there is few things less intimidating that a purposeful clickity clack of heels on linoleum. So I am forced to face the possibility that my preference of plain, nondescript clothing, with "nothing special" accessories may reflect less on what I think of others and more on what I think of myself. ACK! I am not prepared for this type of self analysis. All I wanted was to wear my beautiful shoes, and now I am questioning the foundation of myself as a person!
Clearly more reflection is required. For now, however, I will find peace in this: I have discovered hidden beneath white t-shirts and flip flops....a diva. As she and I get to know each other, I imagine she will peek out more and more. And if you look closely I think you may find, she is wearing beautiful green shoes.