Clearly my quest to be a nicer person is being put to the test. I don’t feel that I am ready for a test really. I need time to practice. Alas I was met this morning with a series of events that stretch the boundaries of my kindness and charitable thought.
I was able to score my favorite shower this morning and I must say that I have mastered the art of the “handicap peeper” shower. I cleverly balanced the shower and dress situation while keeping the variety show to a minimum. This started my day happily and I was ready to address my world more objectively.
My first obstacle comes only minutes into my day as I await my turn at the stop sign. Crossing in front of me is an obviously avid speed walker. Tall and lanky he crosses my path, arms pumping fanny pack flopping, completely void of any clothing except shoes! Mouth agape I say to my friend look at that! She looks around taking in the signs and the traffic, completely disregarding the NAKED MAN directly in front of her. Again I whack her and say Look at that! Finally in desperation she looks at the man in the street. “oh my goodness!” That’s right, now she see’s him in all his glory. Cheeks clenched, moving and grooving to the iPod connected to his fanny pack and no doubt the voices in his head.
I ask you this. With this image permanently burned into my head, do I have a good chance of finding the blessing in each person I meet today? Well, I can tell you how this gentleman is blessed…
Determined to follow through with my charge I seated myself and prepared for my day. Another table having been thwarted in their attempt to occupy their own table descended upon us and joined our group. I was slightly disgruntled having to squish together but this only gave me a moments pause…The joining group began to discuss how well they had slept, the movies they had watched and the yummy waffles they enjoyed for breakfast. This alerted me. What? Slept well, watched TV? This was not a part of my evening. It turns out that this group was so mortified by the accommodations at the dorms, they moved the entire district to the La Quinta. Here they enjoyed king beds, TV and private bathrooms. What pansy’s (oh the jealousy!) Seeing the challenge before me I categorized these people as the pampered…Noting that this was not perhaps the positive spin I was going for I have changed their classification to Lucky Bastards. I think that is way less judgemental.
I continued threw my day attempting to be slightly less harsh to those around me, I was doing well, despite the fact that my coffee was not to my satisfaction. This fact alone I think grants me at least two snarky comments free from any guilt, but I choose to rise above and be snark free for the whole day!
That lasted about ten minutes. In my defence this drastic of a challenge should not be attempted while at a math conference! Sitting just one table away from me today is a man who yesterday was classified as hideous tupe man. I dislike his tupe and further I am irritable that he forces me to use the word tupe when in fact I cannot spell it. (I digress) Trying to see him in a new light I try out several names for him...none seem to fit. Pirate boots man, Single but looking man, ....I went with Tom. It was the only choice really, and besides that what his name tag said.

Perhaps what I need is a conference at a modeling agency to get a dose of my own medicine. What would I attack then? You have to figure that the gender ambiguous people at that conference would not wear "I heart Pi" shirts or tote their laptops in canvas bags displaying the hilarious musing..."there are ten types of people in this world, people who get binary numbers and those who don't"
In the interest of true disclosure i have to wrap my day with this....I am not a better person today than I was yesterday....but I am trying.